Friday, 7 December 2012

All Pets Want For Christmas Blog Hop - 8 Dec

 Welcome to the All Pets Want For Christmas Hop!

First of all, I’d like to thank the Indie Exchange, Donna Brown and Coral Russell for making this fun event happen. David M Brown and me are sponsoring the event. We've both written books about our furry friends. Mine are the Kiwi Series and 3 Heads & a Tail. David has just published a funny book called Man vs Cat - look out for it! 

Don’t forget to check out the other participants and enter the prize draw to win a $50 Amazon gift card. Yep, you can buy a lot of cat food with that! You'll find both things at the bottom of my post.



My pet is a cute thirteen-year-old, black and white cat called Moggie. I’ve had her since she was small enough to fit in my hand. I got Moggie and her brother, Kurt, who is no longer with us (sigh), in a charity pet shop. I had recently lost my kitty, called Kiwi, and was looking to take in an adult cat. The woman in the shop showed me a brown, two-year-old boy. I’d never had a tomcat (apart from when I was growing up in my parent’s house, which we will just called The Johnstone Zoo, as it was overrun by fur, fins and feathers!), so I was umm-ing and ahh-ing when I heard a really loud meow.

Turning, I spotted a cage which the lady of the shop hadn’t shown me. Expecting to see something big to match the big voice, I came face to furry face (that one’s not mine) with the tiniest kitten. She was so wee - all ears and meow. Her brother was sitting down quietly, but this little kitty, well, she really wasn't going to let me go without her. That was it. Love at first sight with the both of them. Home they came. I remember letting them out of the carry box, and while Kurt was a bit slow and wary, Moggie charged out like a bullet from a gun. She then did loads of laps of the room, purring her head off. It sounded like a choo-choo train. Now, thirteen years later, when she wants something, that big meow brings back memories.

So what would Moggie like for Christmas? With a meow that big,
it wasn’t going to be one item. She made a list!

Dear Santa Kitty...

1. Please make my owner’s laptop self-destruct. Vickie spends far too much time with it on her lap. I can’t see the fascination. It’s ugly, made of metal and cold, whereas I am fluffy and lovely. Her lap is my seat – I am the cat of the house. Therefore the laptop must die.

2. I want all spiders in the house to be directed towards me. I like swatting and eating them. They are a fine source of protein and Vickie is scared of them anyway, so she won’t mind. She told me off as a kitten for bringing a mouse home, so they are safe, but spiddies are mine.

3. Please can you put more shoes in the hallway. I love sleeping on these and leaving my fur behind so that my owners will think of me every time they slip their feet inside. Three more extra pairs would be good. Please make them soft and bendable, but not so they lose shape. My owner pulls a face when that happens.

4. Please can you build a little bird village in the back garden so that I can watch more of my feathered friends. I don’t want to hunt them, you see, I just want to watch. I like them. I know that’s weird, but I guess I’m different. Just call me Moggie Bird Watcher.

5. Please sort it so that my owners can only watch David Attenborough documentaries on TV, starring lots and lots of animals. More birds please and fish. But no dogs. Ever. I don't know why, but Vickie wrote a book starring a talking dog. It's called 3 Heads & a Tail. Please ban it. No one wants to get inside the mind of a dog. Shiver!

6. Please can you arrange it so that the Whiskas advert they made for cats comes back on TV. I’ve never been so excited in my life – all those jiggly toys, purrs and stuff. Ahhh.

7. I would like my own bed. I’m not talking about a little cat bed with furry pink bits. No, I mean a big, king-size double bed with a fluffy duvet and big, squishy pillows. Water bed? No, that’s plain silly. And can I have a hot blanket too.

8. I would like everyone in the world to read Kiwi in Cat City and the other books in the series. Kiwi is the cat that Vickie used to have before me, and she loved her very, very much, so she wrote a book about her. Also, I’m in the second book in the series. Vickie made me Kiwi’s mum in the books. My nickname in the series is ‘Moody Moggie’, but I’m not. Not at all, honest. And the book is set in a world of cats. Please Kitty Santa, let me visit there! Please!

9. I would like a very big turkey for Christmas. No, I don’t mean some idiot guy who can’t tell jokes, but a really large, cooked, mouth-watering turkey. Not too well done. And rice pudding please.

10. I would like my own personal stroker, who will caress and cuddle me whenever my owners are not around, including when they leave me for a few minutes to go to the toilet. It’s too long!

11. I would like my own personal cat dietician. Iams is getting boring. I understand that it improved my teeth and stopped me dribbling like a loony, settled my stomach so I didn’t do eggy farts, and made my fur shine, but still...

12. Please ban fleas. I don’t care where they are banned to. Just get rid of them. Now! Sorry, I hope that didn’t make me sound moody. I just don’t want any more Frontline. It turns me into Cat Zombie!

13. Please make worming tablets taste nice. I could win cat gurning competitions whenever I eat one. Imagine. I don’t look pleasant.

14. Please can you ban thermometers at the vets? Really, do I need to explain why? Do you know where they stick those ice-cold things?

15. I want more attention. Full stop.

Kitty thanks,
Your favourite cat, Moggie.
Yes, I’m crossing my paws behind my back. The saucers of Iams and water are gifts for you. You can even have a go on my scratching post or sleep on the shoes.


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22 comments:

  1. Too funny, Vickie! Moggie sounds like such a character. I know she'd fit right in with my meowy brood over here, of which there are seven. Long story, don't ask.

    Thanks for hosting!

    Kitty

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    1. Thanks! She hates my laptop sooooo much! That's so cool that you have seven. Like the seven furry samurai! I once had ten kittens cos my two cats, Amy and Kiwi, got pregnant at the same time. It was great coming home to this rampage of fur. But it was gutting when I had to part with them. I persuaded my mum to take two :)

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  2. Great post Vickie. Thanks for co-sponsoring this event with me.

    Moggie sounds very demanding. I thought our boys were bad. Compared to you I have got off quite lightly this year :)

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    1. Hi I've just been to my friend's birthday. Was nice. Moggie is so lovely but I think if she was a woman, she'd be in the tread carefully and give everything to category! :) She's a diamond babe!

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  3. I think my cats would like Moggie's list although I think their's wouldn't include a bed. They have too much fun seeing how small a space they can get me to sleep in.

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    1. Hi Dawn. Thanks for visiting. My Moggie used to always sleep on my bed, but I've recently found out that I'm actually allergic to cat dander! Imagine! I love her so much, but she's now banned from my bed :)

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  4. You do NOT have your own personal stroker yet>? Oh I catnap the female hooooman daily, she cannot work, nap nothing she is required to pet me for at least an hour without stopping or I bite, and I bite hard, and she knows I can smother her in her sleep without hard she passes out at night.

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  5. What a precious little baby! :-) I am sure she is not nearly as demanding as you claim ;-)

    Hopping on through, check out what little Bucky wants for Christmas http://littlereadridinghood.com/all-pets-want-for-christmas/

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    Replies
    1. She is such a hunny, but her meow is so big. She talks too, so she has a big vocabulary of squeaks and mews and noises. And she imitates birds :)

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  6. I could use a personal stroker too. New follower on Google. Please consider following me.
    Java With Jambor

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    Replies
    1. LOL! A personal stroker would be fine :))))
      Thanks for following!

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  7. Hi, Moggie. This is Shakespeare, from the blog hop (we're a bit late, as Mom had the laptop out yesterday for presentations and we couldn't browse). I don't always see eye-to-eye with cats, but I must agree with you regarding your item one -- my mom, too, spends far too much time with that laptop when she COULD be cuddling on the couch with us Dobermans. Really, when will humans learn their priorities?

    I quite enjoyed the rest of your post as well, but for item five, of course. I think you really might try to be a bit more open-minded.

    Enjoy your day!
    Shakespeare (from http://bit.ly/RJDBpI)

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    1. Mew Shakespeare,
      Thanks for stopping by when you got a chance to get on the laptop. Honestly, I don't understand what humans find so interesting to do on there for the ENTIRE day when they could be cuddling us. Looks like we may have something in common, even though you are one of those creatures that go woof!

      Peace and purrs!
      (Waves paw)
      Moggie

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  8. oh, Moggie, you really put some thought into that wishlist of yours. :) a personal Stroker.. do they make those!? :D what?..I need one. for my dogs. lol. anyways, i really enjoyed your wishlist. it made me rethink what I want for christmas- which is a new laptop. jkjk.


    thanks for stopping by my post. :)

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    Replies
    1. I think a few people are voting for the personal stroker! LOL about the laptop. I need a new desk! Thanks for stopping by too. The hop has been great fun.

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  9. Moggie is precious! I loved the list and I think Karma would quite agree with the banning of fleas. Frontline turns her into a zombie too. No fun!

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    1. I think she's getting immune! When she gets zapped she's out of it for a day. Darn those fleasies!

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  10. What a great list from Moggie! Thank you so much for hosting this with David, Vickie. It was such a fun event!

    My best,
    Terri

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    1. Thanks. I really enjoyed reading all of the blogs. So many animals! Mostly doggies :)

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  11. Too funny Vickie. Moggie sounds like she definately has a mind of her own. And an attitude!

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    1. LOL. I've probably made her sound too moody. She's delightful really. For some reason though, she's taken to sleeping in the cupboard :)

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Thanks for commenting - have a kitty cool day! :)