Hi, I’m doing NaPoWriMo on napowrimo.net.
The challenge is to write a poem a day in April. Today is day 7. Why am I
writing about pandas getting jiggy? Well...
This is the prompt for the April 7 poem:
Today our prompt is another oldie-but-goodie: a poem
based on a news article. Frankly, I understand why you might be avoiding the
news lately, but this is a good opportunity to find some “weird” and poetical
news stories for inspiration.
I looked for something funny on the BBC News website and
found this: ‘Pandas in lockdown mate after 10 years of trying.’
And so, I wrote about pandas…
A panda’s day off (or Ying
Ying gets some)
Today, we finally did it!
And on a Monday too –
Not everyone’s favourite day,
But it is for me and you!
The day I finally got jiggy
With the enigmatic Le Le.
We were introduced back in 2010.
Yes, that was 10 years ago.
We’re just a little bit slow.
Le Le never showed much interest,
Preferring to chew bamboo instead.
Not to say I don’t, I love it –
About 14kg a day, to be precise.
Which means I take 38 dumps a day.
But Le Le does too – sorry, I mean
Ladies never pooh.
Maybe all my poohing was her fear,
Stinking more than the average bear.
But I digress. It’s all this bamboo melting
My brain. Maybe I just need a nap.
Morning…
Is anybody there?
I hope you’re still interested in my tale.
It gets more exciting.
So, the keepers have been trying,
Trying for 10 years to mate us,
To get us excited about each other
More than bamboo, yams, honey…
It was hard. And I never was.
They made us watch moving images
Of Giant Pandas mating.
And they talked of hiding Viagra
In my yams. I’m only stating.
Problem is females ovulate once a year.
That’s two or three days in 365.
Not much time for me to take action.
I was usually asleep and missed it.
How was I to tell? As a 12-hour
Bamboo-munching folivore,
I just had no energy for funny stuff.
I’d leave my scent and claw the odd tree,
But most of the time she didn’t look at me.
Then suddenly everyone just disappeared,
No humans or little screaming ones.
Most of the keepers didn’t work that day
And someone mentioned fear of a v-i-r-u-s?
All I know is we were suddenly alone!
Let’s just say all we needed was some privacy,
No audience watching our delicate moments
(why watch me dumping 38 times daily?).
And romance blossomed…
For three minutes. That’s all it took.
I hope that was enough – after 10 years!
If this lockdown continues, who knows?
Maybe we’ll manage it twice!
Copyright Vickie Johnstone, April 7, 2020
Thanks, Brian. I had fun with this. Hope you are doing ok in these crazy times.
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